The Dragon Lady's Journey

Yesterday we touched on the difference between an Emotion or Feeling and a ‘State of Being.’ I have some combinations that I have found life changing. I was first exposed to the difference between the two concepts while reading a book by Dr. Brene Brown. She has studied and talks on the difference between Guilt and Shame, Guilt is the feeling while Shame is the ‘state of being.’ Guilt says “I WAS wrong” yet Shame says “I AM wrong.” The concept of Emotion/Feeling vs ‘State of Being’ is the same as a circumstance (short-term) vs a long-term or foundational belief. Here is a Blog posting on the subject by Dr. Brene Brown https://brenebrown.com/articles/2013/01/15/shame-v-guilt/ and here is a link to her 2nd TED talk (if you haven’t heard the 1st one, DO IT… it’s life changing) https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?subtitle=en 

I grew up feeling ashamed of everything about myself, even my best qualities. Every mistake I made or negative thought I had I was ashamed because it wasn’t perfect. Everything that I did great I was ashamed because, by feeling proud of myself, I was being egotisitical. I was even ashamed of how I looked, because I was petite, curvy, fair, and with bright redhair, I didn’t look like anyone in my family (I am a Raikes through and through, but had not met enough of them to know it). I was the proverbial “Ugly Duckling.” When I finally got to meet my father’s side of my family, I realized that I was as absolutely beautiful as they were.  I spent almost 50 years feeling ashamed of who and what I was down to my very core, I inherited this from my maternal family, and while I don’t blame them for the generational shame and ignorant teachings, I feel sorry for those of them still stuck in the mire. I had started to heal from the trauma of my upbringing when I discovered Dr. Brown and her teachings in 2022. Discovering her teachings was just a piece of the puzzle that once it started coming together my life and my Whole State of Being quickly turned positive. When I look back at where and who I was 3 years ago versus where I am now, I am extremely proud of myself and where I am now. I am not saying that every moment is “sunshine and daisies” but it is filled with Joy, which will be the topic for tomorrow. Have a wonderful day.

Do you have any topics you would like me to touch on? Please leave me a comment and I will do my best to get to it within a few days.